My Star Wars thoughts -- spoilers inside, kinda

I hated it.

No, I didn't it. I loved it.

I really did think the movie was great. Far better then the I and II. LOVED that Jar Jar had only one line, rather, one word. Sorry Pat, he just wasn't my favorite.

I thought this movie had more heart. We had real emotions, not only in the story, but in the audience as well. At least on my part.

I watched the movie, my emotions, thoughts, and heart completely enraptured. Anakin was so -- EVIL! And although I knew he was going to turn to the Dark Side, I *KNEW* he was going to turn bad, I kept screaming inside for him to turn back to the good side of the force. Apologize to Padme and help raise your babies. I was silently wishing Lucas would have said "Screw the previous storyline, let's give them a happy ending!"

But alas, he did not, as he should not have. Whether I wanted him to or not, it was not what he should have done, of course. But hey, I'm a sucker for the happy ending. But I am comforted in the knowledge that it all turns out ok for Anakin's kids.

Did anyone else's heart break when Obi-Wan left Anakin to die? You know it was killing Obi-Wan to do that, but he had no other choice. "You were the chosen one!" You could just feel the anguish and feelings of betrayal in his voice.

And when Padme dies because she's "lost the will to live"! HEART WRENCHING! If it would have been from a wound or injury or anything else I could have handled that better. But from a broken heart!

I have to comment now on Hayden Christiansen. Is it just me, or did he do a better job in this movie? In the second one I felt deprived of what could have been a good movie. No, he wasn't the only problem with II, but he was a big part of it, for me. But in III he almost did a good job. No, I wasn't impressed, not by any means, but I wasn't let down either. Best scene from him was when he was burned and he kept crawling on the side of the mountain/volcano. I guess its seeing his face and seeing how his acting seems so forced. I don't know.

All in all, I liked the movie.

starting again

So...I went to this chruch picnic on Saturday, almost having my mind made up that I was not interested in going to a little church again. The wound is still fresh, and it still hurts deeply to think about it. But at this picnic I had such a fun time! It was great! We laughed, joked, plyed volleyball and softball. This is an amazing church and I can see a real love for Christ there.

So I've decided to start going there. Feeling like that's the place for me, at least for the moment.

I need something consistent in my life right now. I've gotten too far away from God. I can feel it. My absense from church has helped to deepen the rift I've created between God and myself. I've gotten away from my Christian values. Yes, I know that even when I was a faithful churchgoer I was never perfect, but now...I don't even pray any more. Not really. I'll pray for an issue when someone asks me to, but its usually right at that moment. Praying before bed? Forget it.

I remember when I was a little girl I used to pray before going to sleep. But instead of saying "Amen" at the end of my prayers, I would tell Jesus that I wasn't going to say it because I wanted to make sure He stayed with me throughout the night.

How I miss that childlike innocence. The pure knowing fact that Jesus will be there with you through the night. I knew I could say "Amen" and He'd still be there, but I felt that by not saying it I was somehow closer to him. Like I was still in His lap while he rocked me to sleep and not in my bed where put me after I went to sleep.

So I'm starting anew. Going to put God first. Once I do that, everything will fall into place. And God, if I don't say "Amen" at the end of my prayers tonight, its because I want to stay cradled in your lap all night.