I'm Here!

It's been what, 22 days since my last blog. Everyone, and by everyone I mean the three people I call best friends who are prolly the only ones who read this, is prolly wondering what my mood's been lately. Most recently, I've been excited! I mean, come on! First I had my Christmas Party for work. Had a blast! Then I exchange gifts with the friends, and let me tell ya, they love me! And then my home life seems to be getting better, so that's always a plus.

Ok, enough of that update crap.

The real reason I'm writting is this. I want to thank my deep, close, and personal friends for a few things, and so I've decided to do it on my blog. (Yes, Jay did inspire me to do this, but the sentiments are completely my own and come from way down deep in my heart where my most precious feelings, thoughts, and memories at kept).

Krysta,
Girl, if I would have been born with a sister, I'd want it to be you. Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for me. You listen to me no matter what, you support me when you believe in what I am doing, and you tell me when you disapprove of what I am doing. You are trully a wonderful person, and I've no doubt in my mind whatsoever that I was moved to Kentucky to meet you. I appreciate that you let me sleep over at your place anytime. I love that your family has welcomed me totally. Like you, your family is so very special to me. Each and every one of them have touched my heart in their own way. From your dad knowing my name to your mom agreeing to letting me stay there, to Mandi fronting some cash for me and coming to lunch with me in a couple of days, to Leigh Ann being so very kind in the mornings when you've left and I have a question, and to Alex who knows that when I see her I'm wanting a hug. The Septer family is full of caring, genuine people, and you fit right in there. Thank you for just always being there for me. You trully are like a sister to me, and I love you deeply.

P.S. Short Girls Rock!

Deb,
What can I say? When you say that now that we're best friends, I'll never get rid of you, I have to tell you that the thought of losing you scares me to death. I couldn't live without you, and when you move to Florida, you just might have a stowaway. You've been there for me dozens of times, and I know I can always count on you. If I need someone to talk to, Deb comes to mind. You've been real sweet to me Deb, and for that you'll never know how much it means to me. Ours is a genuine friendship, and when I'm old and my kids won't bring their kids to come see me and it depresses me, I know I can call you up to cheer me up. And when we're both so old that we have to be in nursing homes, I'm so rooming with you, because I'll prolly forget everyone (Krys and Jay are the exceptions), but I could never forget you. You wonder why I want you to come to church with me, why I'm concerned about your soul, its because I can't imagine Heaven without you. I know I'll be happy and never have another worry and all that wonderful stuff....but I think in a small part of my heart, I'll know you're not there, and it'll sadden me. (too sappy? Nah.)
I love you Deb.

P.S. Oh, and thanks for turning me onto Stargate!

Jay,
In the short time I've known you you've touched me deeper then expected. We've had our differeneces, yes, but in the end, we'd do anything for the other. I've no doubt that if I was trully in need of your assitance, you'd be right there to help me. As you have done before when I've gone through some hard times. Just you listening to me helps, but then you add in the humor you bring to the table and it makes me feel loads better. I have the best time with you when its just me and you and we're shooting pool. You beat me horribly, I'll admit, but its a blast. Ok, I lied. I have an even better time when we're throwing darts because I beat you horribly, but you are such a good sport. That time it was just me and you watching Krys play soccer was a blast because we were both being goofy, with the wave and slow clap (we've got to do that again!), and yet, at times we were serious. I love that about you. We can goof off, and then talk serious the next moment. If I need a friend to get me out of a sour mood, I know you are ready with some silliness for me. I want to also tell you that when I took your pressure that first day you were in the office, it really scared me because I know the stuff that can happen. That's why I made sure you had the best doctor's taking care of you. No second best for my friends! Long paragraph short, I love ya!

P.S. Your new eye looks fantabulous (fantastic + fabulous)!

And a quick note for Pat if she reads this, I love you! You've gone from Deb's mom to my friend, and I had a blast with you in Colorado! Thanks for being my sounding board, even if I don't listen to you at times!

Friends, I know I can be selfish at times, but I want you all to know that your happiness matters most to me. If any of you need anything, I will use all of my power to help in anyway I can.

"Greater hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Cheering up

I went Christmas shopping today. Got the family a few things. Bought myself a new dress and shoes for my Christmas party in a few weeks. I cheered up quickly :)

No, I wasn't still in my funk. I got out of that moments after I ranted and raved on Wednesday. So, why did I need cheering up?

Because my computer decided it wanted to crash last night. I lost EVERYTHING! Stories I'd been writting, songs I'd put onto my media player, pictures of friends, Sims 2 files...EVERYTHING! It was a horrible, horrible night!

So today, Deb and I went shopping, and I bought myself the dress. I feel much better now, even thought the task of loading my programs back onto my computer is going to be the sucky suck as Krysta says.

Oh well. Such is life I suppose.

P.S. I changed the comments section. Now anyone can post a comment for those of my friends who do not wish to make a blog of their own.

Funky Town

I'm in a funk. I get them every once in a while, but lately, I seem to be getting them more often. It seems that just about anything can set me off, and its becoming harder for me to get myself out of these funks. What set me off today you ask?

1) There was a cute guy in today. 27, single. Red hair, goatee, pretty eyes. Joked with me. And I couldn't get the nerve to ask him if he was seeing anyone. Nope. I thought about it as I doing his refraction. "Which is better, one or two? How 'bout dinner on Friday?" I have no guts. No friggin' guts at all.

2) The newest to the group at work, Kevin, needed someone to help him with something today. I offered to help him in just a matter of moments because the person he'd asked was already with a patient. His exact words were, "I don't want you." Well, isn't that just great! Now, not only do I have guys telling me that in the dating scene, they tell me at work. Of course that put me in a sour mood. He kept saying, "You're taking it personal." WELL YES! You tell a woman, no matter the content, that you don't want her, she's gonna take it friggin' personal! If he'd have said, "I'd rather have someone with a bit more experience help me with this one," OK, fine, no big deal. But to say "I don't want you." To me. ME! I carry every single one of my emotions out for everyone to see. I'm not that good at holding them in. If you don't know what kind of mood I'm in, you have your eyes closed. If it takes you more then a few days to discover that I take everything personal, and that I'm emotional, you aren't paying any attention. Deb calls me bipolar. I'm tempted to believe her. The slightest thing gets me in the funk, slightest thing can get me out of it. Its who I am, who I always will be.

3) Told a friend today about how I have no guts, and it got me to thinking. I shouldn't have to have any guts! What happened to the guy asking the girl? It still happens for some people. Some girls get asked out all the time. "I was at Applebee's and the waiter asked me out, then we went to a movie and some random guy in line asked me out. Too bad I'm dating so and so...although, if the guy worked at the Ford plant and could get me a new car, I'd probably consider it." So, if these girls can get asked out, why not me? Am I that unapproachable? Am I that ugly? That fat? What? What the freak is it? Why can't I get asked out while shopping at Kroger? Or while I'm working with a patient? Makes me think somethings wrong with me, not them (guys). And if it is me, what exactly is it? I seem to be undesirable to guys. I've yet to be asked out by some random guy. I've had a few people online contact me. Mostly 35+ year olds who are too old for me. Most live WAY too far away. Most can't spell worth crap. Went on a few dates with one guy. Real nice guy, it just wasn't there. If its not there, its not there. But I'm still getting hassled over that. "You know Dee Dee, you did let him go after just a few dates." Yes, and if I could tell there was nothing there then, then what would a few more dates do? Waste his time and mine. I'm not looking just to date. I'm sorry. I want a family. A husband, kids, white picket fence, dog wagging his tail when I come home. I want that. Not because its what I've been told I should want, but because it is the deepest desire of my heart. Way down deep, that's what I want. More then anything. Some people want to own their own business. Some people want to sing. Some want to move to Florida. I want a family. My whole life is geared towards that end.

I've ranted and raved just to say this.

What is wrong with me?

(Cue the melodrama music. Dim the lights.)

P.S. I'm not looking for any answers, just needed to get a few things off me chest. Thanks for listening and check back soon, hopefully I'll be in a better mood!

What is Chunky Joe's?

Thought it might be important to start my blog with explaining where I got the name.

It was a hot August night. Krysta, Deb, Justin, and myself were at Krysta's parents lake house. We were hungry but didn't want the burnt hamburgers from the night before, and we had no more beef left. Sloppy Joe's sounded very good, but with no beef, we couldn't have them. Until I came up with an idea. We chop the hamburgers that we'd put in the fridge up and warm them over the stove. Then we added our ketchup and mustard mix per usual. Deciding that we needed a name for our new creation, we came up with Chunky Joe's.

As to why I decided to name my blog that, your guess is as good as mine.

Anyway, welcome to my blog and my life. Enjoy, and please leave your comments.